Friday, March 1, 2013

I got some splainin to do!

So I haven't posted in a WHILE! Ha, time got away from me.

I'll start at July 2012: My DH and I decided to take our TTC situation more seriously and went to my OB/GYN and discussed our options. Being diagnosed with severe PCOS she suggested taking Metformin and balancing my diet/exercise & stress levels then trying clomid. So, that's what I did.

Late July early August, I was giving Provera, a medicine to induce a menstrual cycle, took that for 10 days, waited 7-8 days for my period to arrive, waited 7-8 days for it to finish, then on days 5-9 of my period i started with 5 (50mg/each) tablets of Clomid. Had to have SI on days 12-18 then go for an US on day 24. US didn't show any follicles, so if by day 40 no period or + pregnancy test it was a complete failure and we would then have to follow the same schedule just upping my Clomid doses.

So having no luck with the first round @ 50mg, we tried 2 rounds of Clomid with 100mg and STILL nothing. Not even follicle appearances. I was devastated.

I feel like a complete failure as a wife and a woman. Why cant I do what every woman was made to do. Round 1 was late July/early August, Round 2 was September and round 3 was mid/late October. All three rounds were of no success, not even a little hint of moving forward.

We decided to take a break and rethink our options and the situation and enjoy the holidays and try not to stress about it.

I love Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years, spending time with family and friends. I had now become like the Grinch or Ebenezer Scrooge. I didn't want to do or go anywhere or anything. I didn't want to because I was tired of everyone asking me or my DH when we were going to start a family. If one more person asked I was going to say when we damn well feel like it because if i had to tell the truth, then I'd be compelled to give details and I cant stand to get those pity looks or the HORRIBLE response like: "everything happens for a reason", "it will happen when it's meant to happen", "you're young, you have plenty of time". I WANT TO SCREAM people! If people actually knew what I was thinking I'm sure i wouldn't have many family members talking to me.

Now that the new year is here, I'm hoping 2013 has some exciting surprises in store for us.

Keep Praying.

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